So its 14 days until Christmas and my house still has no decorations. As a matter of fact the containers are still upstairs in the spare room. Now that’s sad, but hopefully with a little bit of help from my friend Kim and her kids my house will be decorated by this weekend. Fingers crossed because it sure as HELL isn’t going to happen over night with me. I really need to get out of this mood and I just can’t seem to budge. Maybe I need a mini vacation but oh wait, that’s not happening either. Damn deployments! But that’s his job and someone has to do it. I’m sure if Bill knew that I still didn’t have the tree decorated he’s be on my butt about it, I’m sure he understands though and I wish the kids did too.
Tristan is still asking about his daddy and today has been one of those days where he has asked that same question over and over and over again. Does it stop anytime or at this age will he just keep asking the same thing? I guess it’s something for me to ponder on for awhile. And then besides the whole asking of his daddy, I can’t leave his sight for a minute again, thank god Lisa starts watching him again on Monday and I can get back to the gym and hopefully I will start feeling better and less stressed. I know that’s part of my problem with him and this whole Scrooge feeling.
Jordan on the other hand has also been something else to deal with this last week. She’s already had to go and stay at Kim’s for one night and at the rate she’s going I need at least a 2 day break. I just can’t deal with her right now. Is that bad of me? Am I a horrible mom for saying that or for that matter sending her over to a friend’s house on top of it to give me a break? I feel like the worst mother in the world saying that but I’m so burnt out that I’m to the point I don’t know what to do anymore and I really don’t like telling Bill because he has enough to deal with. I have told him a few things from time to time when I’m in one of those moods but I haven’t told him even half of it. But wait and now with Jordan, her fricken biological retard of a dad all of a sudden starts calling again and is going to send her a present this year. Jordan has asked him finally why he has never sent her anything, and when I mean anything I mean he can’t even mail her a fricken $2 card. Well we will see this year if he actually follows through. But get a load of this one; he wanted to send her a fricken IPOD Touch for Christmas! People have you seen the price of these things??? There over $200, and a 7 year old with an IPOD Touch, now give me a break! What kind of an idiot mails a 7 year old that for Christmas, you might as well wipe your butt with $200 and watch it go down the toilet because you know that’s not going to last very long. IDIOT!! But enough with that subject, I could go on all day.
Oh yes, lets not forget about the Christmas cards, I still haven’t started on those either. People, please kick me or something to get this going, at this rate I’ll be lucky if they are out by Valentine’s Day. I really need to get in gear.
Enough for now, I’m done going on and on about nothing. Maybe this could be considered therapy??HMMM…..I’ll have to think on that one too.
Tristan is still asking about his daddy and today has been one of those days where he has asked that same question over and over and over again. Does it stop anytime or at this age will he just keep asking the same thing? I guess it’s something for me to ponder on for awhile. And then besides the whole asking of his daddy, I can’t leave his sight for a minute again, thank god Lisa starts watching him again on Monday and I can get back to the gym and hopefully I will start feeling better and less stressed. I know that’s part of my problem with him and this whole Scrooge feeling.
Jordan on the other hand has also been something else to deal with this last week. She’s already had to go and stay at Kim’s for one night and at the rate she’s going I need at least a 2 day break. I just can’t deal with her right now. Is that bad of me? Am I a horrible mom for saying that or for that matter sending her over to a friend’s house on top of it to give me a break? I feel like the worst mother in the world saying that but I’m so burnt out that I’m to the point I don’t know what to do anymore and I really don’t like telling Bill because he has enough to deal with. I have told him a few things from time to time when I’m in one of those moods but I haven’t told him even half of it. But wait and now with Jordan, her fricken biological retard of a dad all of a sudden starts calling again and is going to send her a present this year. Jordan has asked him finally why he has never sent her anything, and when I mean anything I mean he can’t even mail her a fricken $2 card. Well we will see this year if he actually follows through. But get a load of this one; he wanted to send her a fricken IPOD Touch for Christmas! People have you seen the price of these things??? There over $200, and a 7 year old with an IPOD Touch, now give me a break! What kind of an idiot mails a 7 year old that for Christmas, you might as well wipe your butt with $200 and watch it go down the toilet because you know that’s not going to last very long. IDIOT!! But enough with that subject, I could go on all day.
Oh yes, lets not forget about the Christmas cards, I still haven’t started on those either. People, please kick me or something to get this going, at this rate I’ll be lucky if they are out by Valentine’s Day. I really need to get in gear.
Enough for now, I’m done going on and on about nothing. Maybe this could be considered therapy??HMMM…..I’ll have to think on that one too.
2 comments:
Is the 3 posting now?! Way to go! As I said before this is my way of telling you all what's going on in my life since you all arent'a phone call away. BUT I can understand that you are taking this hard with Bill leaving and all, but if you all could maybe hang out as a family and talk about whay everyone is getting on the other's nerves, that may help. If you all have a fmaily B session. Tell what6's been bothering you that day or who for that matter. KEEP IT CLEAN JESS! I know that when LIsa starts watching Tristan again it will be easier for you to get some air, but like I said before, this is the only life that these kids remember and to make sure that you are giving the kids all that you can give them regardless of how you may feel. I know I don't want my kids on THe Dr. Phil Show later on in life saying how I didn't spend any time with them and that I was too caught up in other things to just hang out and listen to my children. I would HATE for the girls to say that I was a horrible role model and that I didn't prepare them for life so that's why they're so screwed up now!
I know, a little crazy, but that is a big fear of mine. SO any oopportunity I get, no matter how tired I am, I make the time. I want them to know NOW that I am there for the littel things like the falling outs with new friends, or a boy puching you on the playground. B/C is I'm atttentive to their needs now, I"ll totally be attentive later.
As for IDIOT, I can't totally dog him on the I POD only b/c he finally decided to do something. I know for you it's easier to rag on him b/c you were with him, but atleast he's trying to do something. I can't knock him for that. Now the I POD, not the best choice for a 7 yr old, but he tried!
I know you probably want to blow me out of the water with my comments but I told you that I would be honest. That's what friends are supposed to do. So don't take advantage of Kim! She's your friend. I know you need a break but sometimes you need to handle your situation than giving it to someone else to handle. Come on Jess, it's easier to pass it on than to deal with it. Don't band aid the issue, instead handle it head on.
You can send me HATE MAIL on this one and all I will say is you may call me names all you want but I still am your friend. Real Friends tell you the truth regardless of taht being what you want to hear!
A blog can be therapy. I think it is a way of getting your thoughts, feelings and events written down so you can reflect on them. Sure a lot of my post are boring daily life situations but even those can allow me to reflect on certain things. For instance my constant viewing of the computer screen. Im still glued but right now I just dont care.
I agree with slyfam, dealing with the situation head on might help. A family get it out session as well. Good luck.
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